Sunday, February 21, 2010

Recap: Gator-O-Rama 2010 Day #2

After a night with too much cake, and maybe perhaps a couple of beers, the 0815a driver's meeting rolled around pretty early. However, we rallied and got ourselves out on the track without too much drama. Chris drove first, then Andy. Chris' stint ended with a pretty awesome spin out. We've got film... maybe we'll post it someday. Fortunately, drivers' swaps were a snap.

Mike (driver #3) had just gotten in the car when the infamous People's Curse began at noon. Some yahoo team had abandoned their car at the track, so the Powers That Be at 24h Lemons HQ decided to crush the poor neglected heap. The crusher driver was one determined dude - he wanted to pry that engine out. Unfortunately, he failed, but his efforts amused.

And then my turn came... as did the rain. Our tires were scrubbed by this point. Furthermore, every car still on the track was hemorrhaging oily fluids - brake fluid, motor oil, transmission fluid, illegal coolant, whatever. Can we say slickery? Yes, we can! Every turn I lost grip at least once. Every third turn I lost enough traction that I thought I would spin. Yet, somehow, I didn't. I made the checkered flag!

My pit neighbor and race friends Team JDL - Swamp Jews also cruised under the checkered flag. As long as the menorah remains, they'll always be "Shabat Shalom M*****F*****s!" to me.

The final results: 23rd place. Very respectable.

The award table. We get none of these.

Having helped us see the light, Chief Perp Jay Lamm greets his loyal flock.

Judge Johnny and Judge Phil did a great job. They handled an inordinate amount of idiots without losing their cool, always had something interesting to say and just generally amused me. Which is, of course, the point.

If you're worried about the apocalypse, worry more. A SHO has won the 24 Hours of Lemons.

This is the "We Got Screwed" trophy. This year it went to a Geo Metro that, if their plans had gone correctly, would have been competing for the "Heroic Fix" award. Needless to say, their plans failed.

These idiots won the "Dangerous Banned Technology" award. How, you might ask? By pumping smoking oil into the passenger compartment. No shit.

A truly terrible car won the "Judge's Choice" trophy below. Even without having seen the car, I would have known that it was terrible. How else would zip-tied Twizzlers be an 'award'? (Actually the car was a pretty cool Lincoln with fins. But Twizzlers? --CPC)

These are the nudists. They won "Organizer's Choice". They made awesome food and actually went pretty damn fast. One of their cars was in the top ten. Question: Why are nudists good at a sport that requires copious amounts of specialized clothing?

And finally, here's Troy. He won the "Index of Effluency." I can't explain Troy. Troy has a history on the 24 Hours of Lemons forums for being amusing, annoying, long-winded and insufferable. But we all love him, and we're happy he won I of E... but I'm even happier about the duct tape.

Our team; happy, stinky, proud and tired. We'll see y'all in Louisiana.

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