Wednesday, March 4, 2009


Sorry for my results malfunction earlier - I was looking at the October 2008 results. Not only has Jalopnik confirmed our standings, they've provided photographic proof that I actually drove! The driver in our pic has pink sleeves. Therefore, the driver must be me. None of the guys would be caught dead looking so girly.

I love my fire suit. I rocks so hard, all pink and feminine. Unfortunately, I am also allergic to the Nomex in my suit. I figured this out when an ugly rash appeared around my neck where the collar hits. Such a bummer. But do I care? Hell no! The racing bug has firmly bitten my as and I'll be back, terrorizing good drivers everywhere.

Monday, March 2, 2009

Actual final standings (maybe)

I found the timing results at for Gator-O-Rama. We did indeed get Lockjaw into 27th place. Mike was our hot shoe this time with our fastest lap, 1:21.07, and we obviously were more reliable than last year since we covered only 62 fewer laps than the race winners. Yep, our little rusty neon race car covered 380 laps this weekend -- almost 500 miles!

Despite all the time necessary to work heroic repairs on Margarita Neon, those drivers were able to crank out 111 laps. I don't know who did their fastest lap, but he used that extra 25ish horsepower the DOHC car has vs. the SOHC in Tetanus to get an even faster best time of 1:20.456. That's amazing for a car that didn't even get purchased until late November or December. (For comparison, we had Lockjaw for almost 8 months before LeMons TX '08.)

Final standings

So, the official LeMons website links to MSR for the final results. Gotta say, it's a little confuzzling. The MSR website lists the SCHWING team as winners - we know that's not right. The Formula M for Mullet clearly won (the proof is in the nickles)... but the team is listed in tenth. So when the website lists us in the 37th position, instead of around 27 or 29, I have my doubts.

I say we placed in the top third.

I say we rocked the house.

I say I bashed crap out of Lockjaw - accidently, I swear. I came down the front straight waaaaay too hot for my skill level, braked waaaaay too late and just creamed the traffic around me. I was quite lucky to be in traffic - thinking about how and where I hit (driver rear rather lightly followed by passenger front HARD) the collision probably saved me from spinning out. So yay for traffic! And yay to the distracted judges who somehow managed to miss my mishap - I didn't get black flagged. Trust me, people, I would have deserved it. But karma came back to get us, and we got flagged later in the race for an infraction what was purely fictional. So it all came out in the wash, I guess.

I have a lot of work to do before the next race. I'm slow, and I'm not nearly skilled enough to be throwing myself around MSR at speed, in traffic. Provided that the knee holds, I have ass loads of training to do. Hopefully, we'll even find an autocross that will let us use our crap heap for rallying. Woot!

Sunday, March 1, 2009


Unless things changed drastically in the last fifteen minutes of the
race, we finished in 27th of 94 in Tetanus Neon. The Margarita Neon
team did get some good laps in and I think that car will have a good
future. Thanks to all of the team members, and thanks to anyone out
there who's been reading along with us.

Streak ended

Our penalty-free record is gone. This weekend they're doing local
yellow flags, not full-course, and Mike accidentally passed in a
yellow area.

As first-time offenders we got a light sentence-- instant driver
change-- so Ramon is driving now.


Lime green never looked so happy to be moving.

Margarita neon lives!

Heroic head swap done!
Jeff finally gets laps at speed and looks good. Only about 100-
something laps back.

Had a flat

Mary is driving now but we lost some laps because Lockjaw had a flat
just before the end of Andy's shift. Before that we'd gotten to 25th--
we'll see how things hold up.

Sunday so far

LeMons Gator O Rama resumed bright and early today at 9:15. I drove
first today. I'm even slower today-- feeling some fatigue so I was
only able to gang in there for 67 minutes instead of the 90 I did
The car is still running well but a little rougher.
We've moved up to 28th, mostly by avoiding penalties.